Daily worries take a lot of our strength and energy. In this rapid flow, we barely manage to check our child's homework and make a few remarks. This behavior pattern alienates parents and children. Parents really spend little time with their children. This has been proven by scientists at the Institute of Psychology. They state that children are given only 12.5 minutes a day for communication. Of these, 8 minutes are spent on admonishments, remarks, and minor quarrels! There are many methods and ways to avoid this. Let's get acquainted with one of them.
Jamie Harrington, a writer and active mother, invented a personal strategy for communicating with children. Every evening before bed, the writer talks with her daughter, asking how she is doing. Seeing the results, Jamie shared her four-question method with the public.
Question 1. How was your day? The simplest question, which a child might not answer or say "fine." Don't worry about it. Be patient and instead tell them how you are doing. Believe me, after a while, even a reserved child will share their usual schedule with you, and then their plans. This question works similarly with a spouse.
Question 2. How are your friends doing? Ask what's new with their friends, what they are interested in. If you don't know their friends, gently inquire if they exist at all, what their names are, and if you can meet them. If there is no friend, you can discuss what qualities the child thinks a friend should possess.
Question 3. What happened to you today? If the child had a bad day or is in a bad mood, you can dream together. Plan the nearest weekend or holidays, choose a movie to watch at the cinema, or plan a trip to the theater. Tune into positive thinking - everything is in your hands!
Question 4. How can I help you? Often, it's difficult for children to ask for help from constantly busy parents. To teach your child to turn to you, start small. Help the child solve a "terrifying" math problem or clean up toys in their room. With systematic repetition, this process will become a habit. One day, when the child has a serious problem, they will ask you for advice. Attention: helping and doing everything for the child are two different things.
Important:
- just listen; if your comment is needed, you will be asked;
- if you are busy, agree with the child to postpone the conversation until later.
